But how then?
People ask me that sometimes, how do I do that when I coach someone. If I apply certain techniques or methods and which theory I am using.When I did my practical exams in Utrecht the examinator said: “You don’t need any books or theory Roel, you’re applying it all naturally.” Besides passing my exams I couldn’t get a bigger compliment than that!
I stored all that theory in my grey-matter, handy when I really need it. Like a sort of a back-up, something to rely on. But like often the case, theory is not reality. At least, that is my experience. There has to be a click between me and the coachee. A mutual click is most important to bring the coaching to a success. Assuming there is that click, I’ll mostly apply “me” in a coaching.
Authentic, no nonsense and no bullshit. You can add a big pile of life experiences to that. Those solo hikes I’ve done relying on myself in the unknown change a person. They make you grow. It was a big learning curve besides the adventure it already was.
I took a lot with me next to that backpack I carried around. There was a lot of mental luggage too. A lot of my life experiences weren’t closed off yet, they still haunted my brain. The death of my father, my early youth. Being chased, beaten, kicked, humiliated and ridiculed. A drug addiction and getting in trouble with the law. Loose a friend and a lot of family in puberty. And then work in health care at the age of sixteen. Taking care of people, witnessing death at all ages.
After that came the experience working at the counters of a social benefit organisation. I’ve dealt with society, seen crazy things and learned heaps. I was diagnosed with cluster-headache (suicide headache) at age twente-one, having to cope with severe pains.
When I was in my mid twenties times of freedom came. Off traveling and exploring the world. With a one way ticket I left for the tropics and travelled around on my own for a year. Besides all the touristy things I travelled off the beaten path. I lived with locals and celebrated weddings, births and birthdays.
We also took people to their graves, cried together and I learned to be happy with little. I’ve seen people die on the street, I’ve seen kids play in the sewers. I saw the Big Tiger in Bangkok from the inside and gave English classes on Thai schools. After that I somewhat “settled” down, got my degree in coaching and worked at a insurance company for eleven years.
Now I am a father. I’ve walked through big parts of Europe. Now I am who I am.
This all, this is how I do it. This is how I coach. I am writing a book about all those experiences combined in a journal of 181 days on foot through Turkey and the Balkans.
In the meanwhile I noticed that I inspire and motivate people. That I can make change happen. I am very very grateful for that!
Do you want personal growth and change as individual, group, team or class? Do you want to learn to choose your own way?
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